Armchair critic: I was segmented today, and...

I was segmented today, and I can tell you it wasn’t a happy experience. My adviser was armed with a matrix and I came out as gold. Not too bad you might think, but above me I spotted platinum. Have you, I asked my adviser, been seeing a consultant? Yes, he admitted – several in fact, and he’d maxed out on provider workshops. The book, the film of the book and the t-shirt all said the same thing – segment or die. So, gold it was. Of course, I said, if those funds he recommended hadn’t bombed I might be a platinum. Ah well, he said, we needn’t worry about that any more. In future, my go...